In a new spoof for FunnyorDie.com, John Goodman is decked out as Kentucky Fried Chicken founder and mascot Colonel Sanders and declares he “loves the gays.”
“It don’t take a bonified Einstein genius to know that I’m an old-fashioned sort,” he bellows from a Southern-styled living room.
(Click on image to watch video)
“But when it comes to ... marriage rights - why I reckon I’m a bit more progressive than my pals down at Chick-fil-A,” he says. “Yep, let it be known that Colonel Sanders loves the gays. Hell, I might even be gay.”
The video then cuts to a man flirtatiously calling out to him, “Hey, Colonel, dinner’s almost ready.”
“See?” Goodman says to the camera mischeviously.
Outfitted in the Colonel’s signature white-suited style, Goodman uses his over-the-top impression to mock Chick-fil-A, which has been under fire since the company’s president said last month they are “guilty as charged” when it comes to supporting the “biblical definition of the family unit.”
The chain donated $4 million in 2009 and 2010 to right-wing groups that oppose the legalization of gay marriage.
By contrast, the Colonel - as played by Goodman - wants to scoop up all the business Chick-fil-A has lost by alienating gay customers, advertising KFC as the place to go “if you want the gayest chicken.”
“I love all gay people always. And, we’re open on Sundays,” he says, taking another swipe at Chick-fil-A which is only open Monday through Saturday for religious reasons.
“The only church the Colonel attends on Sunday is the church of chicken,” Goodman’s Colonel says. “Not to be confused with Church’s Chicken, whom I hear, unlike myself, hate gays.”
The video comes on the heels of Wednesday’s “Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day,” in which supporters of the fast food chain packed its stores across the country in a rally organized by and Fox News host and former GOP candidate Mike Huckabee.
Despite the firestorm over Chick-fil-A’s position, the “Colonel” says he doesn’t actually care about beliefs - it all comes to money.
“I don’t actually give a s---,” Goodman says pointedly. “Gay or not, you’re all just a bunch of big old money mouths walking around talking and eating.”
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